Helping through Electronic means

As our world soars in technological development, so do opportunities to communicate with those in need.  Cell phones are used not only to talk, also for texting, e-mailing, tweeting, etc.  Let’s not forget home/office use of the internet for facebook, Skype and more are being used to connect as a means to socialize.  A 2010 index published in February by Ruder Finn shows that 91% of adults 18 y/o and older, use their mobile devices (cell phones, Ipod, etc) to socialize, for nearly 3 hours per day.  How do this statistic compare to your use of your mobile device?

Electronic communication (talking, typing, IM, etc) may be said to be used 50% of the time in most adult communication, whether at work or at home.  What percentage of the time do you use electronic means to communicate?  What do you estimate is the percentage your clients use electronic means?  What percentage of the time in your communication with your clients do each of you use this mode of communication?

Assuming electronic communication is being used by counselors with their clients, let’s identify several guidelines and tips.  This writer will need your help in posting comments to identify both guidelines and tips.

For starters …..

1)  Use both written and verbal consents with clients to communicate electronically.

For example:  When using your cell phone to communicate with clients, ask them for permission to talk since since cell phones frequencies can be picked up by other mobile devices.  When e-mailing clients, ask permission to communicate via electronic means along with the depth of content since all e-mails (unless encrypted) can be read by someone else in the web world.

2)  What are your liability responsibilities when electronically communicating with clients in crisis?  (Hint:  check with state licensure laws, ACA and AACC)

3)  What would you consider professional e-mail etiquette?  (click E-mail Etiquette)

Interesting article on The Practice of Internet Counseling.

What are some of your electronic communication guidelines and tips?  Please post your comments below!

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (alcohol abuse)

I believe that we have a huge problem and wonder how many of us are unconsciously reinforcing, thus allowing for this secret sin to continue.  It has to do with addictions.  Addictions speak of a deeper spiritual issue and we may not feel equipped to deal with the addiction or the spiritual aspects.  I believe that addictions are not only a disease but also a condition of the heart.  This is not a discussion on the ‘right’s or ‘wrongs’ or whether consuming alcohol or over eating, or gambling or sex addictions is sin.  Some questions to ponder: how many of us when completing the initial assessment inquire about alcohol consumption or drug use? Or picks up on other signs of addiction, If not, why not?  Is it that we don’t feel we are experienced enough to ask about addiction issues and history?  Are we too uncomfortable to ask those questions? Can it be that we ask some of our clients, but not all of them, (based on our handy dandy Godliness meter)?  Or is it something more- maybe that we really don’t want to know?   If I don’t ask then they don’t have to tell and I as the counselor can just deal with the issues at hand.  So, who then are we benefiting?  Are we thus sending a nonverbal message of do not tell me that there may be something more to these emotional issues and I won’t ask…just keep that part your secret?  See I am concerned that addiction and substance abuse/dependence in particular, even among Christian’s, is increasing and question how are we dealing with it, or are we?

I have grave concerns that maybe we are overlooking something that can be the key and missing puzzle piece to the issues that some of our clients are facing.  I have even greater concerns that because we may choose not ask the tough questions that we are sending a message reinforcing not only their denial of possible substance abuse but also reinforcing and allowing them to continue in their denial process of this ‘secret sin’.  As many of you know denial is huge among people dealing with substance abuse and any other addiction.  Then when it is a Christian with addiction issues there seems to be a greater denial process.   This is because they have 2 denial process’ going, one for the substances and one for their view of themselves as it relates to their Christianity.  So if we have not helped them cut through that denial and help them identify what may be their unhealthy coping techniques, then how are we helping them? It could be as easy as asking how they deal and cope with the ongoing disappointments in life…that some people use food or alcohol to fill that void…have you.

This has recently become very apparent to me, not by a client, but by someone I know is struggling and is also abusing alcohol.  This person has been through years of  Christian counseling with multiple counselors and through lay person after lay person and all of their heads spin not sure what to do for this person.  I am very certain that not one of these people she has spoken to is aware of her ‘secret sin’ and guide her only on the information at hand.  I guess this is becoming more relevant for me personally because I know there are some life changing decisions she is making and am very concerned that they are made under impaired judgment.  Although I have made some vale reference of concerns and suggestions, I myself have not done anymore than that. I believe she wouldn’t ‘hear’ me – she is so deeply embedded in the denial process of both the alcohol problem and the sin problem…..I’m not sure which denial is deeper.

So as counselors, are we addressing just the issues at hand, or are our eyes open to the real issues?

Deanna Murray

Counselor Self Care

Rethinking Your Shoulds

taken from

American Counseling Association Taskforce on Counselor Wellness and Impairment.

ACA’s Web-site article: http://www.counseling.org/wellness_taskforce/tf_wellness_strategies.htm

One of the struggles in making the case for a wellness effort among counselors is that oftencounselors do not practice what they preach (O’Halloran & Linton, 2000). The task force is sensitive to the fact that counselors have unique challenges to their own wellness when regularly and intimately involved in the painful experiences of other peoples’ lives. Cognitive restructuring-namely taking time to track negative cognitions that interfere with self-care-can be an effective tool for clinicians who clearly know successful strategies to promote their wellness yet have difficulty implementing them. What are the “should” statements that prevent you from leaving the office earlier, saying “no” to requests from colleagues, or taking lunch? Giving yourself permission to set limits and say “yes” to your own needs is a critical first step.

What are some of your “shoulds”?

2010 Dawns

2010, you may have heard the world’s dilemma.  Do we call it two thousand ten or do we call it twenty ten?

As we begin our first work week of 2010, how long will it take us to write 2010 on our checks and case notes, rather than 2009?  Purposely writing 2010 involves a new mind set.  As the Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 12:2, not conforming to old, worldly patterns involves a new mind set.

Whether changing your mind set from 2009 to 2010 or making practical, personal and/or professional changes, 2010 requires purposeful changes in attitude and thinking.

Do you agree?

If so, what needs to change in your mind as you move into the new decade of 2010?

Understanding and Treating Sexual Addiction

Sexual Addiction Conference coming to St Louis the first weekend in November!!

Click below to view conference site:

Understanding and Treating Sexual Addiction Conference

At our last St Charles Christian Therapy Network meeting, Jim Venice gave us answers to our questions about sexual addictions and homosexuality.  Jim helped us understand how Pure Heart Ministries helps in this area and what we can do to assist those seeking help.  Thanks Jim for all you do!

Christian Counseling Specializations

We often think Christian therapy as a specialization of counseling.  While Christian therapy is different in the method of counseling, the client’s issues are generally the same.  So as Christian therapists, we generally specialize with different ages, genders, types of issues and ethnic groups.  Of course, these specializations generally develop over time dependent upon the therapist’s interests and gifts.

To get an idea of our therapist’s specialties, please comment on this post to describe your areas of expertise.  Please be specific to age group, gender and types of issues.   If you also work with different types of ethnic groups and/or those with disabilities.

Therapist Under Fire

Recently, a therapist asked me, how can I respond to my group of church friends about a client of mine who they met in a Bible study?  This didn’t sound so difficult, until certain nuances indicated the therapist’s friends are concerned about his/her client who is in an active same sex relationship.  When sharing in Bible study, they discuss personal issues, including what is shared by her counselor.  You can see where this is going, well meaning Christian friends ask their friend a lot of questions and make assumptions/judgments about their counselor friend.

So the therapist asks me, “What happens if my friends approach me about my client?”  Bound by confidentiality and the fact people are going to think what they want to think, the therapist feels awkward for her client and uncomfortable about what her Christian friends may say about her (the therapist).

As wounded healers, we know applying God’s truth to our own lifestyle and to our client is a difficult process. This slow and evolving growth takes grace from both God and Christians.  Well meaning Christians can criticize the way the therapist is counseling, putting the therapist under the scrutiny of their own judgmental bias rather than the grace of God.

When approached by acquaintances of our client(s) who are questioning and/or being critical of our counseling direction, how do you respond?  How do you stand up to negative opinions that are directly aimed at you and/or are swirling around your peers?  Also, how do you emotionally and spiritually handle mud splattered on your reputation?

Summer Suicide

Please pardon the title of this blog, it just describes the paragraph I received lately about the rate of suicide.  Here’s what it says …

Recent research on suicide (the research was very comprehensive and involved several hundred thousand individuals over a 4 yr time period so it was considered valid)- the highest rate of suicides occur in July-August, the next highest time is March-April. The highest rate for a day of the week – occurred on Wednesdays than any other day of the week, and the lowest number on Thursdays.

Sobering information, when many of us consider summer as a time of barbecues, vacations, relaxation and long sunny days are had by all.  Well, we find the expectation of the spring/summer environment will improve my depressed mood is one main reason for the  increased rate of suicide.  Such as when someone who is feeling desperate and the spring/summer sunshine does not improve their mood, the person loses hope they will feel better.  As you know, the loss of hope increases the desperation and loss of will to live.  When a person has interrupted sleep, feeling emotionally drained and has exhausted their resources brings one last solution which is ending their life.

So everyone, let’s step up to the plate here and give input what someone can do when they feel desperate enough to end their life.  Or what would you recommend to someone who is helping another survive their summer time blues.

Submit your comments below

*Gary

Twitter

Http://twitter.com

Here are some resources from the presentation given at the network meeting on 7/8/09
by Kyle Reed over twitter.

www.twitter.com

What is twitter:
Video on how to use twitter
Definition from Twitter
Definition wiki
Twitter Langauge
(This helps understanding different things such as @garymreed and d garymreed
will help make the experience easier and more enjoyable)

Twitter Resources
Desktop Programs:
Tweetdeck
Tweetie
Seesmic (What I (kyle) use)
twhirl (mac only)

Phone apps
blackberry:
Ubbertwitter
twitterberry
tinytwitter

iPhone
twitterfon (free)
twitterrific
tweetie (what I (kyle) use)
twittelator

Other Resources:
twubble
helps you find new friends to follow
tweetscan
lets you search for tweets on a specific topic or directed to a certain user
twitterholic
see who the most popular tweeters are
tweetstats
creates stats and graphs of your tweets

Articles about twitter:
9 ways twitter can help
Time Magazine article
School goes on twitter
Should Entrepreneurs twitter
How Twitter is changing blogging
How and Why to Launch Business Presence on Twitter
Why You Should Care About Twitter
Twitter mini-guide

People to Follow
Carlos Whittaker (my favorite person to follow)
Gary Reed
Kyle Reed
Andy Stanley
Barak Obama
Lance Armstrong
Shaquille O’Neal
Leonard Sweet

Insert you here

Any questions, feel free to email me kyle@thoughtsaboutnothing.com

Financial Stress – Overwhelming Odds

Every where we go, there are cut backs on jobs, rising costs and just not enough money to pay the bills.  Recent polls show, 7 out of 10 Americans acknowledge some kind of financial struggle due to the downward turn of the economy.  We all know how financial struggles affect our mood, attitudes and behaviors.   Rather than talking about the symptoms of financial stress, I would like to ask our network therapists and others to post comments on what they recommend to do to handle financial stress.  Including what resources are available for help.

Personally, I find financial stress to challenge my trust in The Almighty God as my provider.  I feel frustrated, confused and wonder how can I pay for living expenses.  Surrendering my thoughts and feelings to my Father becomes a constant need when my head and heart swirl with the needs of my family.  I find the best remedy for my family needs, is to first remember, God has supplied my needs in the past and He will do it again.

Personal responsibility is also key, being savvy with expenses and exploring ways to bring in additional income.  Sometimes though, we just need to let go and ask for help.

That is why I recommend folks to contact
Local Churches,
United Way,
Catholic Charities,
Salvation Army
Red Cross agencies.
These are great resources for financial assistance and social services.
Also, check out our therapeutic resources and low income couseling.

So what do you do about financial stress?  What would you recommend?